i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
