What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
