It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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