arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize