Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
