Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am never drinking with the goths again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
false alarm, still single
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
