What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
