sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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