I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
