I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize