The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
