I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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