she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize