I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
