Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
