Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
