when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
