My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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