I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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