If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
