let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
