Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
