I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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