i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize