You work out of a Hotel?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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