looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
