My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
