whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
