how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
