well you can't waste a boner
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Everclear isn't food dammit
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
