she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
