and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
