You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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