evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
