The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
