No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
