So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
