First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
