Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
