Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
