don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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