literally had 100 drinks last night.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
