Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
