So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
