rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
