pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she peed on how many people?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
