I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
