too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
