Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
