i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
