Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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