I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
