I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize