Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Help. Why am I so naked?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
