Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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