Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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