Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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