So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize