i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
whose parrot is this?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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