margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
