Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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