every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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You. Win. At. Life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just high enough for therapy.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
