Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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