Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
