One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
