Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
