KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
