Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
